Be the greatest agent of change! And the best way to help someone is not to change them. But to help them reveal the best version of themselves…
If You Want To Know Where True Transformation Comes From Read On
2 Corinthians 3:18
And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
It Takes Maturity To Look At Yourself First
Jesus asked the question, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”(Matthew 7:3 NIV).
Change is meant to come from us first before we ever require it of others. Yet the unspoken and unmet expectations that we have of others, including family, friends, and work colleagues, usually gives way to frustration, anger, and even offense. Instead of drawing us closer to others, our desire for their change hurts relationships and causes them not to grow!
Someone Else Will Never Be Like You & That’s OK
All people need the freedom to be who they are, even if that freedom annoys you. You have to understand that everyone has funny quirks and mannerisms that can rub you the wrong way. Someone else will never be like you, and they will always do things different from you—and that has to be OK.
Each person is unique, one of a kind, just like you! Why would you want them to be like you in the first place? Would you really want to manage how someone should act in every situation? That would exhaust you.
No Clones Please
You’ve been created to be you and totally accepted by God. Why? Because He has made you uniquely in His image. No one else is made in His image in the same way as you are. Think of a clone: clones are not the real thing, are they? They are produced to be identical to the original, but clones don’t remain identical once they start living and having life experiences. In unintended and unexpected ways, they end up differing from the original they were cloned to be.
A True Friend or Leader is Someone Who Gives You the Freedom to be Yourself
Furthermore, there’s no reason to try and change someone else so that you can like or love them more. The nature of real love is that it is unconditional! Change is good, but the motivation behind someone’s change has to be their own need to change. No one appreciates being given the message, no matter how subtle, that they must change in order to be loved and accepted.
Don’t Be Someone You’re Not!
Change can happen very naturally. People are more likely to change for those who are willing to accept them, shortcomings and all, than for those who demand that people live by their rules. Nobody likes living under a mask, especially trying to be something they’re not. People can only live like that way for so long before they cannot bear up under someone else’s standards anymore.
God Will Always Have Your Best Interest At Heart
One thing is for sure: God won’t change the people we’re trying to change. His concern is for a person’s heart and situations that could damage or hurt them. He is always focused on the well-being of those He loves. He has their best interest at heart, all we have to do is get out of His way and let Him work!
Prayer is The Greatest Agent of Change
Remember, even when we think we’re hiding our disapproval, people can still sense it. It’s disguised in our voice and body language. So since we are not called to get people to do what we think is best, what should we do if something has to change? Prayer is the greatest agent of change, not pressure. And ironically, our prayers change us first. Prayer always changes how we see people. If we truly love them, then we’ll pray for them and allow God to work on them His way, on His schedule, and always for His glory and their benefit.
Change Can Only Come From the Inside Out
Many of those who irritate us are simply being themselves; their personality just doesn’t mesh with ours. Sometimes we want them to change when, in fact, we need to be the ones to change. Often the things we require of other people are already there for us to see, if we’ll just stop judging them first. For change to be lasting, it must come from the inside out. Only the Spirit of God can bring about that kind of change!
Start Enjoying The Process
So, keep praying for your eyes and heart to change, and don’t stop! Pray for others and ask for their hearts and minds to be opened. Only then you will truly start to see God’s glory shine in the people around you. When that happens, you will find yourself actually enjoying the process of change, instead of thinking of how to change them.